And Gary Windass thought that his biggest problem was Dev thinking his real name was Gareth, says our Corriespondent...
Gary isn't a dirty cheater! Rejoice!
And so, like he was Peter Barlow waking up in a prison cell, Gary started the day tasting whiskey in his mouth and knowing that whatever happened last night, it wasn’t a game of chess with Roy.
“Stay right there,” purred Leanne From Hollyoaks’ Mate from the doorway in her purple dressing gown, but Gary had more pressing places to be.
Namely Jason’s sofa, where he’d be trying to make a convincing sleep imprint, before telling Izzy that he’d only been led astray by Jason Grimshaw and a bottle of Jim Beam.
On to Friday’s Corrie lessons…
If Gary Windass thought he was unlucky during Phelan-gate, he ain’t seen nothing yet
As soon as Gary got past Dev (“Gareth!”), his plan was seamless.
The only thing that could have gone wrong would have been if the random girl he met in the nightclub in Manchester turned out to be his mate Kal’s daughter, Alya, and if Alya turned up at the gym the next day, and if Gary happened to be there at that precise moment, and if his girlfriend and his child were there too and… OH.
I’m fairly sure Gary isn’t going to get off on a technicality
Luckily for Gary, Alya revealed to him in the Rovers yard (freed up for all cheaters to have their shifty debriefs now that Tina’s dead) that they hadn’t actually slept together, which should make Izzy about 0.05% less mad when she finds out where Gary did sleep the other night.
That should take about three days, by the way, given all of those close-ups of Katy’s Official Suspicious Faces and the fact that as part of Gary being the world’s unluckiest man, Katy now appears to be making Alya her NBF.
The best way to get over your midlife crisis is to do a speech about M People
While Gary appeared to be having some sort of early mid-life crisis, Steve McDonald was having a perfectly timed one, just on the dot of his 40th birthday.
He was feeling bad already, but then he got a coffee table, some slippers that didn’t fit and a couple of empty CD cases and that tipped him so far over the edge that he drove all the way to Leeds-Bradford airport rather than go to his own party, despite the fact that they had cheese on sticks AND posh cake and that Michelle had dressed as sexy end-of-the-film Sandy from Grease.
Oddly that comes in the same week that Peter Barlow started to go a bit Danny Zuko too, so make of that what you will.
In the end Steve got over it and did a really quite good speech involving moving to Spain, getting a pool and searching for the hero inside himself.
“Ah is that Winston Churchill?” asked Eva across the bar.
“No,” said Steve. “It’s M People.”
It turns out that Ken isn’t quite as awful a parent as we thought he was
Those who were wondering why Ken didn’t see fit to come back to deal with the whole ‘your son’s probably going to prison for killing his mistress’ extravaganza got their answer tonight as Deirdre chatted to Ken on the phone as she gave Eccles his usual country walk (down the ginnel in her heels).
“There’s nothing to report here,” she told him. “Everything’s fine! Peter and Simon? Yeah they’re driving Carla mad as usual.”
This may be a bigger lie than that time she went to the shop for a bottle of Merlot and ended up sleeping with Dev so since there’s been talk of Tina’s death making the papers, we can only hope that Ken hasn’t figured out how to get on Adam’s wifi.
Special Mention Goes To…
“I’m really sorry I can’t be my usual happy go lucky self,” said Nick. Erm, REWIND?
“Hot and cold? I INVENTED hot and cold.” Deirdre putting Tracy’s love life in perspective.
The Steve and Michelle one-liners.
“Where’s all this coming from?” Michelle asked Steve earnestly about his mid-life crisis as she wiped some crumbs from his car seat.
“Well I had a meatball lattice earlier.”
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